If You Are Not Enough Right Now, You Never Will Be.

I know this statement can seem really harsh to hear and may sound like the conclusion is that I am somehow lacking but this phrase has become such a comforting and disarming phrase for me. Let me explain…

I had just been to an All Staff meeting with a group of people that reminded me of the popular kids in high school. Every single one of them could be models. I don’t do well in large groups and being a more reserved person I am usually more withdrawn anyways. But this day I was especially struggling to be in the room. As soon as the meeting was over we broke out into food and connection time. 

Let me tell you I maybe said hi to one person and hurried out of there as fast as possible. 

I felt so out of place,  like I didn’t belong. Comparison was hitting me like a ton of bricks and I actually left work crying. Maybe even having a slight panic attack.

As I was leaving, I asked God what was going on inside of me.

He said “If you don’t think you are enough right now,  you never will be.” 

In that moment it felt like an epiphany! What sounded so complicated made so much sense to me. Immediately I had a memory back in highschool where I had written an actual list of all the things I wanted to change about myself.

-get rid of acne

– loose weight

-whiten teeth 

-nose job

This was the list I created of things I wanted done to make myself socially acceptable and acceptable to myself. 

As I got older the list didn’t get shorter.

I had gotten rid of my acne with Accutane but was now left with the scars, so now I wanted Microdermabrassion. I asked my for whitening trays for my senior year present. After that I wanted Laser hair removal. 

The new list looked something like this:

-Microdermabrassion

-loose weight

-Laser Hair Removal

-Microneedling

-Facial Peels

You see the list didn”t get any shorter as I accomplished my list. I had gotten no closer to my ideal of being acceptable. 

I think of young girls who go in for Breast Augmentation surgery and just want to look “ normal”. They go in for a C cup and by the end decide on a D cup. After the surgery they aren’t satisfied and decide that they want to go back and add some hips through a fat transfer.. They are still not satisfied and want ribs removed. 

The point is the list is never satisfied. That little lie that whispers in your ear you are not enough will always find something wrong with you. 

I’m reminded of the Mean Girls scene where all the girls stand in front of the mirror and say one thing they hate about themselves and Katy the new girl is left challenged by the other girls to find something wrong with herself and blurts out “My breath stinks?” 

That is what that voice in my head feels like to me, a Mean Girl who is pressuring me to find something wrong with myself. 

Suggestion: Don’t listen to the Mean Girl.

There is no moment of arrival where one day you will think you are perfect. 

You are enough, right now!

You have to decide when is trying to please perfection going to be over for you. When is enough enough!

And I challenge you with the same challenge God gave me. 

If you don’t think you are enough right now, you never will be.